Only you know the truth, as there was no Twitter back then. I took that Harvard implicit associations test, and I admit that when I see a person who looks like you, a part of me wonders if they mocked people like me as kids, calling names and pulling their eyes into little slants. That Gwyneth Paltrow practically inhales kimchi through her vagina because kimchi kills coronavirus? OK, so the NHS scolded her for spreading misinformation, but still, you should try some of this cabbage. “You need more nutrients.”Īre you kidding? Don’t you know that South Koreans are some of the longest living people on the planet? When your son told you that I cooked most of our meals, was it racism or naiveté that made you question if he now ate Asian food all the time ? “I don’t think you’re built to eat just Asian food,” you told your 6-foot, 180-pound man-baby. I hate to drop that loaded R word, and maybe I should use something more innocent, like “naive” or “misinformed.” But you did call us frantically at midnight, thinking we’d joined a terrorist cult after seeing a Facebook photo of us standing next to a Black Lives Matter sign. You sound like such a fun lady, but when you came to town recently, I was afraid to meet you. Life’s necessities should be free! We are also very relieved that your head wasn’t throbbing because of a giant brain tumor caused by the evil 5G network, but rather the three margaritas you drank at the Velvet Taco. Thumbs up to you for knowing how to take a five-finger discount at Target on laundry detergent and sparkly eyeshadow. It’s truly amazing that at 60-something, you still live by the rule that girls just wanna have fun. But a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, and a mother by any other name would be just as meddling.įor three years, I’ve known you tangentially by phone, as you call your son every week, sometimes twice or thrice to regale him with your latest Texan drama. I call her Umma, which is Korean for mom but doesn’t sound as chummy. It feels weird to call you Mom when I’ve met you only once.
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